Feeling pretty down

I'm having trouble finding my old philosophy of life again. I was incredibly joyful while I was living it, and I'd love to get back there. Unfortunately I don't have anyone to talk to about it; no one I know subscribes to it or lives that way. When I described it while living it, people would really get behind the concept. Now I can't speak of it from the heart anymore because it's not there, and all I get is arguements and reasons why it wouldn't work.

Never mind that it happened, it worked for me, and I was a far more joyful person while I was living it.

I feel incredibly alone. All I really want to do is curl up and have a good cry, but I can't. We've got people coming over, and even if we didn't M finds it incredibly distressing when I cry and does his best to "make it better." I've tried to explain that crying does make it better, or at least less personally distressing, but it never really seems to sink in.