Damn it!

Gah! Here I am, still having trouble dealing with my feelings for Roomie. There he is, seeming to make a point of telling me every time he wants to ask another woman out. Either I have presented how I feel to him as something that I don't want to be experiencing and am fighting (which is true I suppose, but only because he is so clearly disinterested in me romantically,) or he just is forgetting it because it's not something he wants to deal with.

If I had anything approaching a stable job or income I would so be out of this apartment. I love him (platonically, not just romantically,) and would love to be able to have these conversations with him, but it hurts to have them. And heaven forbid I try to talk to him about that. He so far has not been able to talk to me, just to his fucking therapist about anything that needs to be discussed. Even if she gives him a good solution (which she does often from what I've heard, I'd love to be able to see her myself,) he doesn't ever talk to me about it. He just decides what he needs to do about how I'm behaving and does that. That is not how you have any kind of relationship Roomie, not and keep it. But then, we've had less of a friendship since I moved in anyway.

I can't deal with this anymore.