That was actually insanely easy
Had a night of drinking with Roomie last night. Got incredibly drunk. We talked about the living thing, and also about the fact that I had a problem with his ranch statement. He's not going to abandon me to be homeless, and I don't remember what exactly got said about us romantically, other than mutually agreeing it wouldn't work.
We got up this morning and went out in search of pastries. On the way he got kind of mildly giddy and said he was going to get some coffee from his hot barrista. We pull up, and DAMN, she was sexy. And she was definitely friendly. But she seemed fake somehow to me. Like she was trying to achieve a look of perfection so hard that she didn't know what she actually looked like anymore or something. I started watching the kinds of girls he noticed and realized that they were all very young, bouncy, athletic or physically almost perfect...
Suddenly I realized that I wasn't interested in Roomie romantically anymore. What he wants is one of those women that spend a huge amount of energy modeling themselves after the women in magazines. I personally find being one of those women a disgraceful thing, and lost a little bit of my admiration of Roomie for wanting what I feel to be a lie.
Now, I'm getting the sensation that I'm not being totally honest with myself. I know it's not about how my feelings for him have changed, I think it's more the concept I've held until now that it's IMPOSSIBLE to look as good as women in magazines in real life. Obviously it's not. But knowing that makes me no more likely than before to pursue that. I've got much, much better things to do with my life.
I'm just happy because for the first time since before I moved in, I've moved ON.
We got up this morning and went out in search of pastries. On the way he got kind of mildly giddy and said he was going to get some coffee from his hot barrista. We pull up, and DAMN, she was sexy. And she was definitely friendly. But she seemed fake somehow to me. Like she was trying to achieve a look of perfection so hard that she didn't know what she actually looked like anymore or something. I started watching the kinds of girls he noticed and realized that they were all very young, bouncy, athletic or physically almost perfect...
Suddenly I realized that I wasn't interested in Roomie romantically anymore. What he wants is one of those women that spend a huge amount of energy modeling themselves after the women in magazines. I personally find being one of those women a disgraceful thing, and lost a little bit of my admiration of Roomie for wanting what I feel to be a lie.
Now, I'm getting the sensation that I'm not being totally honest with myself. I know it's not about how my feelings for him have changed, I think it's more the concept I've held until now that it's IMPOSSIBLE to look as good as women in magazines in real life. Obviously it's not. But knowing that makes me no more likely than before to pursue that. I've got much, much better things to do with my life.
I'm just happy because for the first time since before I moved in, I've moved ON.
posted by Artemis at 6:43 PM
2 Comments:
It's not worth the investment past a certain point. And it's way easier for guys than gals. And ultimately it's a surface thing - the things you really wind up wanting aren't on the surface. If the gal spends all her time on surface things - and admittedly looks fantastic - then she'll get a lot of attention. Then the game turns into whether there is something worthwhile deeper.
Much, much prefer concerning oneself with the surface and figuring out what is below. And I struck gold!
If that's where you're at then moving on is good.
Should read "prefer NOT concerning oneself with the surface..."
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