I thought I was flying, maybe I've been falling
I watched this video on YouTube today about dealing with breakups. Not because I'm going through that but just because I got a link and was curious. It was very good advice that I myself try to be in tune with. At the end, he speaks about making sure that your level of inner-contentment is self-generated. I take that as making sure that you like yourself because you decide you're worth liking, not because others like or praise you. This is I think the most crucial part of being emotionally healthy.
The last few months I have been coming out of a phase of depression and serious dissatisfaction with myself. Recently I've been making or rediscovering friends left, right, and center, and everyone has been telling me how fantastic I am. This has done a lot to boost my self-esteem. When I saw that video though it made me stop and think: is it really self-esteem if it is all because other people care about, like, or admire me? No, when put that way it clearly isn't SELF-esteem at all.
I know me, and I know human emotional reactions, and I'm certainly not giving myself a hard time because I needed others to show me that I'm worth loving again. But I definitely needed to be reminded to love myself, and not to use other people's love for me as a replacement of that. I've been kind of up and down lately, and I think that was why. One needs a certain amount of input to maintain their happiness. The only way to make that constant and true is to input it yourself. I needed to start loving myself again.
Ha! I just gave somebody that exact advice a few days ago. There are times I wonder if I'm the only person who gives others advice that they themselves need to receive.
The last few months I have been coming out of a phase of depression and serious dissatisfaction with myself. Recently I've been making or rediscovering friends left, right, and center, and everyone has been telling me how fantastic I am. This has done a lot to boost my self-esteem. When I saw that video though it made me stop and think: is it really self-esteem if it is all because other people care about, like, or admire me? No, when put that way it clearly isn't SELF-esteem at all.
I know me, and I know human emotional reactions, and I'm certainly not giving myself a hard time because I needed others to show me that I'm worth loving again. But I definitely needed to be reminded to love myself, and not to use other people's love for me as a replacement of that. I've been kind of up and down lately, and I think that was why. One needs a certain amount of input to maintain their happiness. The only way to make that constant and true is to input it yourself. I needed to start loving myself again.
Ha! I just gave somebody that exact advice a few days ago. There are times I wonder if I'm the only person who gives others advice that they themselves need to receive.
posted by Artemis at 5:39 PM
2 Comments:
We aren't islands, and need the feedback. If you get too much feedback thats pretty workable, especially if you're not one to get a head full of yourself (and you're not).
I'd suggest (after knowing you a couple of years, and having a very different world-view) that you normally think way to much about this 'who am i/what is really going on?' stuff, and get caught up in details that cause you to spin your wheels.
You know who you are: if you don't like it then change it (way hard). I think you're already kind and thoughtful - what else do you need to be to satisfy yourself or others? Spend your energy in prioritized ways, like being in a stable place, and investing in your future.
That's a whole 'nother set of advice (based on MY worldview which may not be applicable to you - but I think it is).
You're already a good person. If you stabilize the rest will come.
You have a good point, but it's actually quite easy for me to get a head full of myself. Right now I am coming into shore from an ocean of depression and dealing with the waves is much harder here and much more necessary than in everyday life. I'm sick of the up and down.
There's always more to be done, and I'm not going to ignore dealing with the emotional crap so that I can be unhappy with a job that also makes me unhappy, ya know?
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