...I am losing my mind with horniness! At first I tried the "I'm easy, and that's easy and fun" life I was living in Seattle a few years back. Discovered that wasn't working for me. I went through the "Oh god, I will trade sex for the chance to be in a relationship" phase, realized that wasn't working either. Fell in love with one of my best friends who became my roommate shortly afterwards. I guess that was a good distraction, but I'm pretty sure he's just not interested in me that way. (It's hard to be certain, but I think I am about as close as I'm going to get to an actual, talking about now kind of answer without screaming "DO YOU WANT TO DATE OR NOT, ASSHOLE?!" at him some day right after he gets home.) That's fine, I'm pretty much over him as well. I tried hooking up with an old friend who has gotten amazingly hot since highschool. It seemed kind of perfect (he's good looking, fun, has gotten past his mad highschool obsession with me, we care about each other and we had good sex,) until the BS situation he'd gotten himself living in exploded on him two days later and I found out what his relationship with his roommate/best friend actually WAS.
What I think I want right now is what I was trying for with the last man listed above. A good friendship that has sex involved. Unfortunately, the only person I can imagine being able to do that with right now is the next to last man listed above, which I'm pretty sure is out of that picture due to having recently been in love with him and telling him so. I'm just happy we're still friends at this point. Masturbation I'm just finding boring as hell and more something I do to take my edge off than any kind of helpful or enjoyable action.
Stupid hormones!!
