Well, that worry sort of solved

It turns out the guy I've been kind of seeing lately wasn't cuming because he's not in love with me, and that it turns out is important to him. That's fine, and I was thinking that I'd need to break things off with him anyway - I'm not in love with him either, and while I care for him deeply (he's one of my oldest friends, which is not changing for either of us) he's utterly vanilla, and frankly his life, and what he seems to want, is just far too... I keep thinking small, but probably too limited/ing for me is more accurate. I didn't want to hurt him, and when he called tonight to kind of break things off I actually broke things off for certain.

I'm glad that what we've had over the last several weeks has awakened him to some of the joys he's been missing, and that he's going to start meeting women and expanding his life now. I just wish someone could provide me some of the same aid I seem to give everyone else. I seem to be either a catalyst or a band-aid for most of the people I care about. Is there someone out there that can be that for me?

I need some help please...

This is kind of worrying

So, since I've been back in Washington, I've had sex with three people aside from Mike. I, as usual, come really hard and all the time. On the other hand, out of about 20 times my partners have come twice. That's all. I don't know what the hell is going on. I'm getting pretty worried, and having some serious self-doubt.

Also, I'm seeing someone new (well, newish, I've known him since I was 17.) He's a great friend and a wonderful sex partner. He's also completely vanilla, and I was surprised to learn, pretty inexperienced when it comes to sex and relationships. He's pretty game to try new stuff, but can I get a partner who is kind of close to what I'm looking for sometime soon, that I don't have to comfort, reassure, or train? This is just so depressing.

Oh, and I'm just now falling out of love with my roommate. I always wondered why we never dated. Apparently I was alone in that. Which considering our friendship when I lived in Seattle is kind of a shock to me.

Good lord, my life is insanely.... well, insane I guess. OK, not really, I've just been through a lot of changes since I posted last. Most relevant is that a) Mike and I have split for good (although he doesn't believe that yet) and are living apart finally (HOORAY!!!!!) and b) I'm living with one of my oldest friends in Everett, WA. Double hooray for being back home, even if I really don't like this city.

I'm employed, although aparently they're shipping our work out of the country in a few months. Stupid american businesses...