So much for assurances

We've been here for six months - in that time, I'm the only one who has found work. M has looked, and had several interviews. Lori on the other hand...

I don't know what to do about her anymore. Before we moved she me that she'd be a far better living companion than M. More responsible, more likely to work, more fun... Bullshit. She hasn't gotten more than 2 interviews, largely because she's incredibly picky about where she'll apply, and also because she's convinced that she can get an office job that she can work on Monday/Wednesday/Friday so she can continue day classes Tuesday and Thursday. She's told me several times now that she just won't work fast food. And really, this was all tolerable. All we asked of her was that she did the dishes and cooked occasionally - once or twice a week at most. She doesn't even fucking do that, and apparently she bitches at M constantly when I'm not here. The kitchen is always destroyed, and M told me today that the only cleaning that has happened recently was because he got her off her ass and helped her. She sits at her computer all day and plays fucking games and I'm paying for this bullshit.

She's supposed to make dinner tonight, told us several times that she would, and only started cleaning the fucking kitchen at 6 pm after a full weekend of sitting on her ass. She eats us out of house and home, contributes almost nothing to the house, apparently just expects to be supported... Fuck this. When our lease is up, she can find her own place. I've had it with this.

Feeling pretty down

I'm having trouble finding my old philosophy of life again. I was incredibly joyful while I was living it, and I'd love to get back there. Unfortunately I don't have anyone to talk to about it; no one I know subscribes to it or lives that way. When I described it while living it, people would really get behind the concept. Now I can't speak of it from the heart anymore because it's not there, and all I get is arguements and reasons why it wouldn't work.

Never mind that it happened, it worked for me, and I was a far more joyful person while I was living it.

I feel incredibly alone. All I really want to do is curl up and have a good cry, but I can't. We've got people coming over, and even if we didn't M finds it incredibly distressing when I cry and does his best to "make it better." I've tried to explain that crying does make it better, or at least less personally distressing, but it never really seems to sink in.

Trials and tribulations of J

Poor guy, he's had nothin' but bad luck since he left. One of his crew members got into an accident on the way to the airport and broke his arm. Since J had no crew, they told him they'd figure out what they'd have him do in a few weeks. He went to the Alps (neat!) but got really, really sick when he got back, so he missed orientation for the new assignment. That meant that he didn't get to pick out a crew, and wound up with the ones no one else wanted because they speak poor english; only enough to work, not enough to have conversations.

He should get a new crew in a month, not all is lost, but he's not having fun at the moment. Plus, the work is boring. He found an awesome sounding dance club, but can't go to it because they only let in couples and he doesn't know any women there. He'll meet a person, they'll get along really well for an hour or so, at which point they hit him up for rediculous amounts of money.

Poor guy is lonely. I so wish I could help him out somehow...